Coffee & Smokes #2

by Ryan Burkett @blackbeltjonz on Twitter

Coffee & Smokes #1

by Ryan Burkett @blackbeltjonz on Twitter

Coming Soon: Comic Of The Week: Justice League #3

Comic Of The Week: Ultimate Comics Spider-man #4

Written by Brian Michael Bendis

Cover: Kaare Andrews

Pencils: Sara Pichelli

What Happens: I like the new Spider-man’s sleeves. Otherwise, nothing new to see on the cover.

Brooklyn Visions Academy, Night. The R.A. or Miss Garrett or whatever of Miles’ dorm, comes in and tells everyone to stay calm. They’ve already heard that Spider-man’s been shot, so staying calm is not an immediate option. Miles tells Ganke to cover for him, and he sneaks out a window. I’m not sure if Miles doesn’t fully trust his new powers, or if they just aren’t as finely tuned as Peter Parker’s, but for some reason, he goes out barefoot.

Peter Parker’s Last Stand. Oh no. Do we have to? Peter drops a truck on Green Goblin. Miles watches from across town as something explodes. Peter Parker was present at the explosion. We get his death scene again. I know it’s just a comic book, but Peter Parker was a good kid. Everyone is instantly stricken and crying. Miles finds Gwen Stacy sitting on the lawn, and asks Spider-man’s name.

The next day, Ganke and Miles are reading the story online. Miles says it was his fault. “Instead of being a coward. You know I could have helped stop this.” Miles thinks he should have used his powers sooner. Ganke points out that it could have gotten Miles killed too. Ganke says maybe now is time for Miles to be Spider-man.

The Funeral of Peter Parker. There’s a huge crowd outside, but Miles and Ganke work their way up front. They see Gwen Stacy, and Miles asks her, “Why did he do it? Why did he become Spider-man?” She doesn’t answer, and walks inside. A panel later, she returns, and tells the story of Uncle Ben’s death, including “With great power comes great responsibility.” She adds that he wore a mask, “Because he didn’t need anyone to know who he was to be a hero. And it looked @#$@ cool.”

Back in the dorm, Miles tries and fails to design a Spider-man suit. Ganke enters, having bought him a Spider-man Halloween costume. Miles worries that it’s in bad taste, something not usually concerning a middle school student.

Miles leaps around the city in his costume, which has floppy boots and gloves. He hears a crash off-panel.

The next day, Miles finds a Daily Bugle story online (I suppose this will be a regular feature of the book) criticizing the new Spider-man impostor for the way he handled a battle with the Kangaroo.

The other roommate, the kid with glasses, is knocking outside. They aren’t supposed to lock the doors. Ganke lets him in. He’s followed by guy who looks like a coach, who reminds the boys that it’s against policy for them to lock the door. Miles wonders to himself how he’s going to manage being Spider-man, how Peter did it, and why he narrates now. Ha.

Spider-man crouches on a gargoyle, trying to figure out how to find bad guys before they do bad things. He doesn’t understand the buzzing in his head. Is it cancer? No, it’s Spider-woman, there to kick him down. “Who the @#$@ do you think you are?”

Grade: A-

Also purchased: Batgirl #3; Batman and Robin #3

Comic Of The Week: Wolverine And The X-Men #1

Written by Jason Aaron

Cover: Chris Bachalo

Pencils: Chris Bachalo

What Happens: Marvel has always considered every X-Men book to be Wolverine And The X-Men anyway, so it’s fitting they finally gave one the official title. I love this cover, by the way, especially the bright red in the negative space.

14-7 Gramalkin Lane, Salem Center, Westchester County, New York. The Day Before. Wolverine and Professor Xavier are walking (yes, both of them) through the rebuilt school. Wolverine says Hank is responsible for the design, which Professor Xavier loves. The school is being inspected tomorrow. They better get a move-on, since there are still scaffolds all around. Professor Xavier declines Wolverine’s offer to stay on and help out. Professor Xavier says this is Wolverine’s time, although it’s a surprise Wolverine is the one to reopen the school. He tells Wolverine to prepare for the school to be blown up once in a while, and to not worry about seeming cool.

The Day of. Wolverine puts on a suit, pours himself a drink, and heads out to greet the day. He passes a statue of Jean Grey, and asks her for luck. Aw. And then, he greets his co-headmaster: KITTY PRYDE. Fantastic. She’s drawn just a little taller than Wolverine, which is perfect. She says everything rumbled last night, and that Beast has built the school as a deathtrap. She’s worried they won’t pass inspection. Not sure how that kind of thing would work anyway. I understand it will be an actual school, but will they pass if it’s also clear they’re training warriors?

A car pulls up, and Mr. Clud and Mrs. Marigold step out, ready to inspect. Kitty introduces herself and Wolverine. Clud and Marigold are from the New York State Department of Education, so this is official business. Their primary concern is how much of a threat the school poses to people living in the area. If it explodes on a regular basis? A lot.

The school’s official name: The Jean Grey School for Higher Learning. Hey, you guys have something in your eyes. The school is enormous, unfinished, and built in a mix of classic and futuristic styles. There appears to be some sort of satellite right above the main building, as well as giant industrial catwalks and columns. I’m pretty sure Beast is zipping around wearing a jetpack. Kitty assures that there’s paperwork to cover everything. Clud and Marigold are rude and obviously biased against mutants. Kitty points out that Wolverine is an Avenger, which is a highly-respected position. They ask for his education credentials. “Canada.” Kitty interrupts by listing all the schools she’s attended, some of the best in the world, none of which gave her a diploma.

They pass a classroom, actually just an open space with three standing mutants. The teacher is Rachel Grey, the subject: “Psychic Self-Defense.” That should be mandatory in all schools. Another, “Introduction to Mutant Literature” is being taught by Husk, who is having trouble keeping the attention of her students.

Toad is the janitor.

Two students are nearby, bullying a smaller mutant. The little guy is a Brood alien (ick, for my money, the scariest X-Men villain). The Brood kid says that he’s a mutant, unlike any other Brood alien. He wears glasses, for starters. Wolverine enters, and the bullies scatter.  Kitty says the bullies have a point, but Wolverine insists that the Brood kid stays. The bullies—Hellion and Glob Herman--are in the restroom now, which Wolverine arms for a Danger Room session. Apparently, the entire school is a potential Danger Room session now. Fun. Marigold points out that the school is more dangerous than ever.

Wolverine introduces a student, Idie Okonkwo. Idie says that the school is more than the kids deserve, since they’re all monsters. She says she’s at least grateful for the protection. “I’d rather not have to kill anyone again if I don’t have to.” She’s awesome, tiny and cute.

Wolverine is worried about Kid Omega, who I wouldn’t have thought would be allowed at the school. Kitty has him in detention, to keep him out of sight. He still dresses prep-school-punk, and has purple hair.

Basement Level C. Main Control Room. Central Power Station. The Laboratory of Dr. Henry McCoy. Beast is in a bad mood, and wants coffee. He’s trying to adjust gravity levels, sewage rerouting, stuff like that. He doesn’t notice them enter, and nearly hits Marigold when he tosses his pot of coffee out of frustration. Kitty phases it through her at the last second. He tells Kitty and Wolverine that he left an interdimensional portal open, and the school is infested with gremlins. Marigold is struck by having been phased, and throws up.

Beast tells them that the new Shi’ar technology has arrived. Gladiator and Warbird are there, unhappy to be relocated to Earth. Gladiator is portrayed as skinnier, younger, and punkier than usual, which is fitting on this book, and for a character who has a Mohawk anyway. Wait, I’m wrong. This is Kid Gladiator.

Bobby enters and says Wolverine has a guest out front. It’s a kid in a suit and purple sunglasses. “Kade Kilgore is the name. CEO of Kilgore Arms.” Wolverine says he’s not interested in buying guns. Kilgore reintroduces himself as the Black King of the Hellfire Club. Kilgore says he’s to thank for all the X-Men’s recent problems, which of course resulted in the split in teams, and thus, the new school. Kilgore also builds Sentinels, despite being a mutant himself. Class act. We’re over half way into the book, and Wolverine just popped his claws for the first time. A record? Wolverine tells him to get out. Kilgore, who is twelve, by the way, says he’ll destroy the school.

Wolverine returns to the school, just in time to see Marigold and Clud running out, surrounded by little Nightcrawler-ish demons shouting “Bamf!” Are these the gremlins? Or are there baby Nightcrawlers who haven’t yet learned to teleport? Is it showing that I gave up on the previous run before it was finished? Eventually, I’ll sit down with them and catch up. Kitty tries to stop Marigold and Clud from leaving, just as the ground rumbles and splits, and giant stone teeth and hands rise up toward the school. That place is going to be hard to insure.

Grade: A-

Also purchased: Uncanny X-Men #1; Daredevil #5; The Ultimates #3; Astonishing X-Men #43; Teen Titans #2; Detective Comics #3; Animal Man #3; Action Comics #3