Closer vs Unfaithful

“Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist wrapped in blood.” That comes from Larry, the character played by Clive Owen in Closer. It's one of the sweeter sentiments you're likely to hear in the movie. Closer is the surly new film from Mike Nichols. It's a sick, twisted take on the trite romantic notions expressed by most movies. You know that movie Little Black Book? Relax, I didn't ask if you saw it. You know that movie Little Black Book? Closer eats movies like that for breakfast. If you invited Closer over for the weekend, it would stop up your toilet, sleep with your spouse, spill wine on your carpet and steal the cash from under your mattress. It would never, under any circumstances say it was sorry. And you know what? If you're smart, you'll invite Closer back next weekend too, cause it's the fuck of your life.*

*In the spirit of Closer and its filthy mouth, the language in this review is going to be a little dirtier, like you, you filthy slag.

There are lingering close-ups in Closer, and just when you think the camera is uncomfortably close enough, it moves in…well, you know. Luckily, the players in Closer have actor's faces. Notice I didn't say “beautiful” faces or “photogenic” faces, though they are those, to be sure. The faces in Closer are expressive. When someone is hurt, or happy, it registers instantly. When someone lies—and in Closer, people lie—you can read it much the way you do in real life, meaning, at first, not at all. But once you get to know the characters of Closer, you begin to sense their lies, and the movie constantly teeters on these lies, threatening to fall off the shelf like, um, that cracked egg in Risky Business, or something.

Closer focuses on four individuals, and four couples, and two couples, and two other couples. There are only four characters. Julia Roberts stars as Anna, an American photographer in London. She's recently divorced, and has little patience for fools or children, and finds a little of each in Dan, played by Jude Law. Anna is taking Dan's photo for his novel. She's read the manuscript, and likes it to the point of helping him change the title. They share a brief flirtation, and then a not-so-brief kiss. Anna dips her head forward some, and a look spreads across Julia Roberts's face that is so subtle and spontaneous, I was taken aback. How is it that someone I've seen so much of has new stuff to show me? And why hasn't she been showing me more often? Julia Roberts, like Tom Cruise, is such a star that putting her in a movie is almost spectacle. It's as if the characters she's playing are Julia Roberts, and all these odd things are actually happening to this super-famous person. This time, Roberts is Anna, and remains so. She was pregnant during filming, so I guess I should have expected the glow, but I was completely thrown by the screaming, teary, angry, human performance that went with it. And, to top it off, she's only one-fourth of what's great about Closer.

Waiting downstairs is Dan's girlfriend Alice (Natalie Portman). Alice is a self-proclaimed waif, imported from New York. Alice is funny and bold, and so instantly charming, that when Anna first meets her, she says “Hi,” in the same voice I reserve for the dog when he wakes up in the morning. Dan has been with Alice for a while, but is smitten with Anna, and demands to see her again. When she refuses, he devises a childish scheme that somehow results in her meeting Larry, played by the aforementioned Clive Owen. I love that Anna and Larry meet in such a cutesy romantic comedy way, because Closer then proceeds to crap all over it with the vilest set of sexual double-crosses imaginable. See, Anna and Dan have an affair after all, and Anna and Larry continue their relationship. And Larry gets revenge, and Dan gets revenge, and Alice gets revenge, and Anna gets revenge, and everyone cries and everyone screams and everyone has sex and everyone says their sorry, but no one ever, ever means it.

If you think Closer sounds like a lot of complication for only containing four souls, well, you'd be right. That's life. And if you think Closer sounds confusing, you're right again, and that's still life. Closer covers about three years, but we never get any on-screen notice that time has passed. We learn through conversation (never clumsy with exposition), who's together and who isn't, and how much time has passed, and what that means.

Closer was directed by Mike Nichols, and as in his best films, the actors find moments of strength as they're being pushed around. At one point, Larry and Anna fight, and there's such a level of humiliation, I kept expecting someone to back down, but no one does. Clive Owen is great in this scene, throwing out one sarcastic slam after another, like “Don't you dare say ‘You're too good for me.' I am, but don't say it.” Nichols chases them around their house, getting the camera all up in their faces, so that just in case you normally would be shocked to hear Julia Roberts screaming about Jude Law's…issue…then you can just look up on the screen, because that's definitely her, and oh yes she did too say that.

The heart of Closer is Natalie Portman. Her Alice is the most innocent party to all the infidelities, though definitely not the most innocent in other matters. She's a stripper, and finds herself in a private dance with Larry, in a scene that is the best short film of the year (like I would know). Alice, in a pink wig, teases and infuriates Larry, as he throws money at her and pries for information. Natalie Portman is somewhat of a revelation in Closer. She's flirty and funny, but an emotional wreck, and perhaps the most fearlessly honest of the characters. Alice wears her heart on her sleeve; she knows it's a bloody fist, but you might as well put it out there anyway, right? I'm not sure how many chances an actor needs to prove to me that they've got the goods, but Portman keeps on, just in case. How cool is it that her roles in the Star Wars movies are just going to be footnotes in a couple years? Even though her first two movies (The Professional and Beautiful Girls) were as impressive as anyone would want for debuts, let's pretend that this year Natalie got her start in film in Garden State and Closer, okay? Because I feel like I'm seeing her for the first time. And trust me, in Closer, I saw a lot of Natalie Portman. Most of her scenes are with Jude Law. It's like they filmed three different movies. We've got an opposites-attract romantic comedy, an arty character study, and a tense domestic drama. Everything plays just right, even if we can tell right away that Law's Dan is a spoiled, pathetic dog who's going to ruin everything the first chance he gets.

Closer ends with a shot of Alice walking down a busy sidewalk. As she walks, she's ogled by nearly every person she passes. She probably notices, but doesn't respond; what would be the point? Why make eye contact with someone who will just leer as you pass? And, it goes without saying, probably has someone at home who thinks she's being loved, but is obviously being lied to. You rock, Natalie, but be sure and look both ways before crossing the street.

Unfaithful, in theory, has a story quite similar to Closer. It's about a couple with no room in their lives for infidelity, and about an infidelity that makes no sense to the person committing it. Unfaithful, though, takes a slightly more worn path, and is not so much worse for it. Unfaithful is a slicker, more easily consumed version of Closer, but it's satisfying and makes you think just long enough (you'll forget most of it during the credits.) It's good in the way a soda is good when it's really cold. It's like, damn, that was a great Orange Crush! But you know there are eleven more in the box.

Unfaithful stars Diane Lane and Richard Gere, both of whom have lasted long enough in their careers that I'd believe you if you said they were the first choices for the movie. They play an affluent, happy couple. They have a beautiful house, their clothes fit just like in the catalogs, and their kid is Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle. How much better can life get? And then, one day, Diane falls down in the street, and starts a Penthouse Forum-level affair with an antique book dealer. Andrian Lyne directed Unfaithful, so you can probably guess that the antique book dealer is played by a European underwear model-looking guy, instead of, say, Wallace Shawn. He and Diane have an affair. It's the sort of affair where she's out with her girlfriends for coffee and excuses herself to have secret sex in the ladies' room. It's every bit as trashy and Adrian Lyne-ish as you imagine.

And then…and then something happens. I won't tell you what, because it's truly a surprise, and the movie that follows the surprise is not the movie I thought Unfaithful would become. It's pretty damn good. After the…happening, Gere and Lane become so paranoid and careful you think they're going to explode. Gere has never been this good. He has a scene, following the thing that happens, that is straight out of Hitchcock. You know in Pulp Fiction when Bruce Willis starts to choose one weapon, but then sees a better one just up ahead, and then another, and then another? It's like that scene, in reverse, with Gere realizing that every second he's probably making a decision that's going to make his life a lot more difficult. And Diane Lane? Man, watching Unfaithful, it's like you've never seen her in a movie before. This is her debut. There's a scene, after a romp with Andre Booksamillion, when Lane rides the train home, and the camera just hangs with her as she laughs and cries and relives her day, over and over, across that actor's face of hers. This is her Oscar nomination, in a single wordless montage. Someone get that woman Mike Nichols's phone number.

Closer: A
Unfaithful: B-