The Omen vs Mean Creek

About a third of the way through The Omen, I started to wonder: was Damien easier to potty train? Because it seems like that’s the sort of thing he’d take to right away, but then again, if he’s not into it, you really wouldn’t be able to force him. Just a thought.

I never saw the original version of The Omen, but it came out in a time that seemed saturated by Creepy Kid movies. The Exorcist and Rosemary’s Baby preceded it, and The Bad Seed and Village of the Damned were much earlier, but I’m sure The Omen came out and everybody was all here we go again. Or maybe not. It had Gregory Peck in the lead and became enough of a classic that it spawned (pun intended) a handful of sequels. I didn’t see those either.

And so we’re in the middle of another Creepy Kid movie invasion. This one started with The Sixth Sense, and continued with Frailty and The Ring and Dark Water and the one with Robert DeNiro and Dakota Fanning, and Birth.  And The Grudge. And probably some new crap that I didn’t even realize had a creepy kid in it at all. In other words, I’m over the creepy kid.

Anyway, they made a new Omen, and it’s good, I suppose. Of Liev Schrieber as the dad, the old lady next to me told her friend: “He sure is handsome, but he must not get paid much, because I don’t know his name.” Normally, I detest talkers at the movies, but then once in a while one of them has a point. Which isn’t to say that Schrieber isn’t good; he’s quite good, in fact. Schrieber brings more heft to the role than it demands (check out the casting of the Amityville Horror remake—or the original for that matter—to see how much heft stuff like this demands. Not much.) Schrieber plays Robert Thorn, an ambassador living first in Rome, then London, with his wife and young son. The son is pampered and cherished, and gets a birthday party that would have made Paris Hilton fire her parents. Oh, and he’s the devil. We know this because he’s intensely calm, blinks instead of speaking, and his nanny kills herself in his honor. His name, of course, is Damien.

The new nanny is played by Mia Farrow, which should be another clue. Farrow has likely never had this sort of fun on a movie before, and she has never, ever looked lovelier. She’s the devil too, or at least a huge fan. She’s there to protect Damien, because soon people will want him dead. The Vatican has received a prophecy from the stars, and horrible tragedies are lining up into what looks like the signs of Armageddon, if only there were a boy with the mark of the beast. Oh, there he is. Damien has to be killed, but how will the Vatican get the word out? Don’t you worry. Pretty soon Damien’s parents are on board, and with the help of a paparazzo (David Thewlis), a paranoid priest (Pete Postelthwaite) and a bag full of spikes, they just might save the universe. But if they do, then how come the first movie had all those sequels? Something to think about.

I was surprised that The Omen was such a dignified affair. Having not seen the original, I figured it was more of a slasher movie, but it’s not. Everything is immaculate, with splashes of red accenting the white sets (even in the hospital). And as you might have already noted, the cast seems chosen straight from the stage. Another thing that I truly liked about The Omen is that Damien isn’t out there with knives and sneers, like Chucky. Things are just sort of happening. Horrible accidents that otherwise would just be labeled victims of freak timing are actually the work of the devil. It’s a little scarier knowing that some of Damien’s worst acts might take place when the…get ready for it…little devil isn’t even on screen.

The Omen is full of haunting imagery. Damien’s mother (Julia Stiles, also good, also lovely, but good and lovely in exactly the same way that about a dozen other actresses could have been. It’s just that sort of role. When the credits scrolled, I was shocked to see that Julia’s character wasn’t named “Neve Campbell”.) has constant nightmares about Damien, in which he certainly seems to be the devil. Mad dogs run about, ominous masks appear and disappear, stuff like that. The Omen isn’t a gory movie, or even a particularly frightening one. It’s mainly just cold and unsettling, like little Damien himself.

The Omen was directed by John Moore. He did a pretty good job. The locations are beautiful, the dogs are mean, Mia Farrow’s lips match her flowers which match the blanket on the bed, which matches the blood in the tube. If only he weren’t bound to that 6-6-6 release date. Who could have known that 6-6-6, while being the perfect time to release a movie about the anti-Christ, would also be the worst time to release yet another Creepy Kid movie, because I was burned out by the time Brittany Murphy said “I’ll never tell”? Sometimes you gotta watch more than the calendar, John; you gotta watch other movies.

Mean Creek, for example. You could have watched Mean Creek, which isn’t about creepy kids at all, but rather regular kids who find themselves in an awful, creepy situation.

You can tell something’s off from the start. Something bad is going to happen. A few kids and a couple older brothers are going on a float trip. And even though it sounds like a bad idea as soon as it’s suggested, they invite the school bully along, with the intent of teaching him a lesson.

The school bully in Mean Creek isn’t the type we’re used to in movies. He’s more the type you might have known in school. He’s not so much mean as he is lumbering, loud and devoid of social skills. He probably thinks of himself as the class clown. And they get out on the water, and something terrible happens. The kids have to make a new plan, and Mean Creek winds through territory previously occupied by Deliverance, Thelma and Louise, and A Simple Plan. With kids. They’re all good, but Rory Culkin is the stand-out, among actors kid or otherwise. His Sam isn’t one of those clichéd wise-beyond-his-years movie kids, he’s just a smart kid getting wise through necessity. As an adult, Sam’s gonna be a wreck, so don’t trick yourself into labeling him an old soul or anything.

I’m being intentionally vague about Mean Creek. It’s not a remake like The Omen, and it contains actual surprises, so you deserve to find them. Mean Creek wasn’t a hit, so it’s unlikely ever to be remade, which is a relief. Some stories are of a time and place; maybe the devil is universal, but those sad kids of Mean Creek should probably stay where we found them. Mean Creek is a sad story and yes, it’s creepy, but in that way that feels real. I’ve heard criticisms that the kids in Mean Creek are saddled with dialogue that’s beyond them, but when you watch it, picture yourself at thirteen, in the woods, making the decision those kids have made. You’d probably have said some pretty wordy dialogue yourself. Mean Creek isn’t perfect; as with River’s Edge, I found myself absorbed in the way violence affected certain characters, while pretending the more annoying characters weren’t there. Remember that younger kid in River’s Edge? Hate.

Mean Creek was written and directed by Jacob Aaron Estes. He probably seems like a good choice for remaking some old horror movie and really making a name for himself. What a terrible idea.

The Omen: C+
Mean Creek: B+