Wanted vs Shoot 'Em Up

Angelina Jolie looks completely natural holding a gun, so much so that during Wanted, I never considered that they might be props, assuming instead that Angelina had brought her own guns to the set. And when she shows another character how to shoot so that the bullet curves, I figured, Oh, that must be why they cast her, because she can do that. Angelina can curve bullets. It kept happening. Angelina’s character, the brilliantly named Fox, eases into a backbend, then flattens at the last second, as the train she’s riding passes into a tunnel. It seems completely like something she would have been doing anyway, regardless of the cameras. That, my friends, is the mark of a badass actor. Just like Sylvester Stallone seems like he might have been a boxer years ago, or that Tommy Lee Jones might be a real cowboy, give Angelina Jolie a weird backwards gun, and damned if she doesn’t look like she knows how to shoot somebody behind her back.

So much of Wanted depends on us believing the bad-assitude of the stars, and for the most part, it works. James McAvoy (with a flawless American accent) plays Wesley Gibson, an office drone much like Jack Lemmon in The Apartment or Edward Norton in Fight Club. And, as in Fight Club, Wesley’s mundane routine is interrupted by a violent, charismatic stranger. Fox claims to have known Wesley’s father, and that he was a brilliant assassin (she’s not so bad herself). Before long, she’s shooting up a drug store to defend Wesley from invading rival assassins. Fox abducts Wesley and takes him on a rush of a car chase. It’s the most thrills Wesley’s had his entire life, and in that moment, it felt pretty good to me too. Angelina Jolie, it bears repeating, was flat born to kick out the windshield of a speeding car. She rocks, and for over an hour, Wanted does as well.

During that time, bullets fly, swirl and curve through the air, and we follow them through bodies like in Three Kings. Knives slice, cars flip and Wanted marries a sly blend of social commentary and nasty sarcasm. But then…why is there so often a “but then” with summer action movies?

But then, we learn the origins of the organization that employs Fox (as well as characters played by Morgan Freeman and Common). See, it’s an ancient fraternal order of weavers who consult a magic loom for the names of people to assassinate. So, they weren’t assassins until the loom told them? Or did they want to be assassins, and looked for the go-ahead wherever they could? Whatever. Even though the action continues, once we learn the motives (and secrets) of the assassins, the fun is nearly stopped. Which doesn’t mean I didn’t clap a little during the falling train scene, or that I didn’t laugh when Morgan Freeman said “Kill that motherfucker!” I’m not made of stone.

Wanted is a movie so stylish, the director should appear on camera, just walking around with a bullhorn and beret. He’s Timur Bekmambetov, the director of the Russian Day/Nighwatch movies, which are so stylish and cool I can’t bring myself to watch them. He’s definitely got a future in Hollywood action. He’s got the casting dead-on. Now let’s just work on his script editing.

Shoot ‘em Up is like Wanted’s louder, uglier cousin. Like Wanted, it’s got top-shelf actors, but unlike the smooth criminals of that movie, the cast (and director) of Shoot ‘em Up seem to find their movie distasteful and embarrassing. It’s one thing to send up the genre with over-the-top acting, action and plotlines. It’s quite another to add Looney Toons level sound effects, sped-up action sequences, and downright ludicrous acting choices and plotlines.

It wouldn’t be such a big deal if the actors weren’t Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti. You know how hard it is not to like these guys? I was fine with Owen when he delivered the baby during a fight, then cut the umbilical cord…with a bullet. But then he killed that guy with a carrot, and well, yeah. You’re kind of with a movie at that point or your not. I kept watching. The mother is dead, and Owen has the baby, and he has to figure out who all those other guys with guns were, and keep the baby alive, and oh, someone’s got to feed it. Owen is as cool as possible, given the circumstances and style of the movie. Giamatti has decided, against my better wishes, the ratchet up the style even more by speaking in this mock villain voice that is so ridiculously hammy I was expecting chips a dill pickle on the side. After Lady in the Water and The Illusionist I was worried that maybe Giamatti was in some kind of “trying too hard” rut. Uh, yeah, it’s official.

I’d go into the plot, but seriously, you don’t even need the sound on to watch Shoot ‘em Up. Actually, that’s not a bad idea. Pick an album you like, or even a movie with better dialogue, and cue it up. Shoot ‘em Up should have its director on screen too. There are times, when the stunts are out of control, and the actors are running and diving and shooting like in Wanted, where you might want to give the guy, Michael Davis, a begrudging high-five. Other times, too many, you’ll wanna sit him down, take away the carrots and say, “Listen, slow down, maybe add a subplot about some weavers.”

Wanted: B

Shoot ‘em Up: C-