District 9 vs Galaxy Quest

Ryan: I keep reading reviews of District 9, and everyone I know has seen it, but I can’t find anyone who thought it was scary.

Cliff: Yeah, not so much. What scared you about it?

Ryan: Well the aliens looked completely real.

Cliff: Completely. I don’t care how they did it. If it was CGI or actors in suits or motion capture, it doesn’t matter. Everything looks real.

Ryan: And you didn’t think it was scary.

Cliff: No. Why would I?

Ryan: Because giant, poisonous aliens have landed on Earth, by the thousands, and they’re stronger than us, have weapons we don’t understand, and they’re furious.

Cliff: Oh, that.

Ryan: You’ve seen too many movies. Or maybe you haven’t seen enough. District 9 checks off its influences like a grocery list: Alien, Primer, Shaun of the Dead, Fire in the Sky, Silkwood, E.T., The Fly, Enemy Mine.

Cliff: Yeah, but it takes the most iconic parts of those movies. It’s a best-of collection of sci-fi, conspiracy movies, plague movies and documentaries. By the time you notice all the influences, you convince yourself District 9 is a true original. Every movie is influenced by something else. It’s rare for a movie to have this many influences and not pale in comparison to any of them.

Ryan: It’s really good. It feels like a classic already.

Cliff: Which would you rather see, a sequel, or a TV show?

Ryan: It’s certainly designed for TV, but once the money comes in, you know we’re getting a sequel.

Cliff: My favorite thing about the entire movie is that it’s not set in New York. They even point it out. Aliens didn’t land on New York or Washington D.C. They landed on South Africa.

Ryan: Well, above it.

Cliff: There’s no government control room. No one has to wake the president or call in a special task force of marines or oil drillers or anything.

Ryan: There’s not a part for Jon Voigt.

Cliff: I bet Michael Bay doesn’t get it. He probably thinks it’s the lamest shit ever.

Ryan: Yeah, Michael Bay thinks District 9 is a nerd.

Cliff: He’s probably confused that there’s no scene of Mount Rushmore exploding.

Ryan: I’m being serious. There’s a mentality in certain kinds of Hollywood blockbusters, and I bet those directors sometimes really dig their own work. The guys who make movies like The Day After Tomorrow do not understand why District 9 works by doing much, much less in terms of effects. They look at District 9 and think “What is this shit, the news?”

Cliff: I know. And the documentary footage is believable too. That’s exactly the kind of reports we’ll get when aliens land.

Ryan: When?

Cliff: I mean, if. If they land, in movies.

Ryan: Thanks. It’s hard enough sleeping after watching those guys ripping apart raw meat and digging through the trash.

Cliff: They are pretty gross. Smart to have the little one though, with the big E.T. eyes.

Ryan: Yeah. Christopher’s son.

Cliff: Nice touch, giving one of the aliens an Earth name.

Ryan: Well that’s part of the allegory. They’re different, so we do all we can to make them just like everybody else, to hide their uniqueness. All the while though, we’re discriminating against them anyway. Here, “Christopher”, your name is too weird and alien, so do this thing that makes it easier on us. Meanwhile, we’re gonna make life shit for you.

Cliff: By moving you from your already horrible little shanty village to this camp of tents that just happens to look like graves. You’ll love it!

Ryan: We’re being a little vague here. A recap: twenty some years ago, a giant space craft entered our atmosphere and hovered just above Johannesburg. And they haven’t left yet. They’re all scaled and tentacled like shell-fish, and I think they’re terrifying, but whatever, it’s just me, obviously.

Cliff: They’re mainly sympathetic. They miss home, but they can’t go. They’re stuck here, and they’re being treated poorly, in ghetto refugee camps where they have to barter and fight just to get some cat food.

Blackbelt: Or hookers, or whatever else the ganglords will let them have.  And the government is trying to move them from their village to an approved “camp”, where they’ll probably all die.

Cliff: Unless they bust out their secret weapons, or figure out how to get home first.

Ryan: We didn’t have this conversation after Transformers. Weird. District 9 also has one of the best Science Fiction performances, I think, in Sharlto Copley. He hits like ten different beats. I know I’m prone to exaggeration, but he’s amazing in this.

Cliff: He starts out like something out of a Christopher Guest movie, or the British version of The Office. And then things get downright weird, and Copley leads the way.

Ryan: Tell me you didn’t think it was scary when he started…getting sick. Losing teeth and biting his fingernails? And the scene in the fast food place. Come on!

Cliff: Yeah, that’s pretty dark. I love those classic movie plague symptoms. If you vomit black or white…it ain’t good. And if you lose a tooth? Not from being punched, but just because your tooth came out? Oh man, you’re fucked.

Ryan: What a strange, good movie this is. I kinda wish no one knew about it so I could tell them all.

Cliff: There’s really nothing to pair this with, unless you want to watch ten other movies.

Ryan: You don’t give me any credit. There’s another sci-fi movie that references tons of other movies, doesn’t suck, and isn’t overplayed: Galaxy Quest.

Cliff: I thought I would hate Galaxy Quest, but I liked it, and then never watched it again, and I never talk about it.

Blackbelt: No one ever does. Everyone saw it, everyone liked it, no one cares.

Cliff: So why watch it again?

Ryan: Because District 9 is great and original and exciting, but it’s not the be-all, end-all. There’s more than one way to do this, and Galaxy Quest has one of the ways.

Cliff: As a full-on spoof. The cast of an old show is sent to space, because aliens think they’re actually the space adventurers they played on TV.

Ryan: Yep. It mostly takes on Star Trek, but also the obsessive culture of sci-fi fans, a certain kind of TV acting, special effects, fake technology, and of course, aliens.

Cliff: The aliens in Galaxy Quest are friendly, and take a comforting shape for the humans. Must be reassuring for you.

Ryan: Yes.

Cliff: Did you realize Sam Rockwell is in this? He’s hilarious.

Ryan: Yeah, nervous because he’s the guest star and they always die. I also like Sigourney Weaver, repeating everything the computer says, because that’s how her dialogue was written on the show.

Cliff: So you’re really suggesting Galaxy Quest because you want to watch something funny before bed, right? So the District 9 aliens won’t come get you.

Ryan: It’s either that, or stock up on cat food.

District 9: A

Galaxy Quest: B